okay, leah or esme gave me her germs. i think it was leah because the symptoms are very much like what i know about rsv and that's probably all i should say about that. i've been sick since a week ago saturday. at work i had to drug myself heavily and wear a mask. whenever i breathed my glasses fogged up, then i would yank my mask off for a breath of air and my glasses would fly off also, once almost into something oohoogeeinisk(spelled phonetically since i can't find my danish dictionary).
when i wasn't at work i was laying on the couch reading georgette heyer and napping.

i'd be reading like: "you are perfectly right, i regret to say that he has been a constant source of anxiety to his widowed parent."

"he seems very young" said the major.

"but, alas, old in sin"...

and then i'd nod off for some space of time and when i'd wake up i'd read it over again, but i couldn't remember who was speaking or what the conversation was about or even what book i was reading. wow, i was really spaced out.

but, yesterday, saturday, i woke up and felt like i had some energy. i got up and did dishes, straightened up and then started rearranging my dishes. i will have to say more about that on another post. i took pictures and everything. but it's too late tonight.

yes, today is ben's birthday. twenty seven years ago we got to have him. i've been missing him so much. i was in the bathtub and put some baby shampoo on my hair and the smell of it reminded me of his smell and the wish to be able to smell him again was so strong it was almost unbearable. i could go on and on, but that would probably be pathetic, so i won't. it was just a really bad good day today, is all.

on a lighter note: here is a quote that dennis just said to me: "he was vigorous father, very vigorous." probably way too easy, but it's so funny when dennis just comes out with stuff like that.