granola shoes, handknit socks, oh and i also sprout wheat

i am so mad at myself; i put these pictures in completely bass-ackwards, as grandma thomas used to say. now i have to talk about things out of the order i thought about them in, if that makes any sense. these shoes were supposed to be towards the last. leslie would say they are very granola, but they are super comfortable for work plus i feel like they might be exercising my calves.

here is the final product of all my effort to make cute socks to fit a newborn who may (probably will) have very skinny ankles. these should stay on little lily's feet even if she kicks a lot.

this is a work in progress for maren. i am sewing in the sleeves which, you can't tell from this shot, are three quarter length. i need to block it and then it will be ready to wear at easter time.

this is a book i am anxious to read, but haven't started yet because i have been too busy and now expect to remain busy for the foreseeable future. when will i have time for this?

this is wheat sprouting. i am going to make my favorite bread this weekend.

more granola shoes and some hand knit socks. the main yarn is called 'sockotta' and it is made in italy of wool, cotton and nylon. the lime green yarn is made of bamboo and feels silky. these are wonderful socks and feel great.

one thing i found out is that it's quite difficult to take good shots of your own feet, but i wanted to get a side view of the footwear (and my thoroughly exercised calf).

i knitted the toes, heels and cuff all in the contrasting color.

dennis at breakfast this morning, not feeling like having his picture taken.

we woke up to a skiff of snow this morning, but it is all gone now.

i have been thinking about a.a.'s list-making strategy for getting things done and since i have lots of things to do today i thought i'd make a list here on my post to see if it will make me more productive:

scriptures (already done), exercise, dishes (already done), make cookies to take to people, shower, pay some bills, buy pea seed and soak, start sprouting wheat (already done), call marie about visiting teaching, go visiting teaching, fold clothes on floor of closet and in dryer, make a shopping list, make a list of things i want to get done on saturday with tenny, make new post (in progress), call cynthia grant to see if she's home so i can take something to her, talk to margaret, go to orangeville relief society dinner at six-thirty, go to relief society meeting at seven-thirty.

whooee, i'll be surprised if i get all that done and i still have the feeling i've left stuff out, and there's no reading, knitting or napping on that list! yikes!

banner and tennyson came over today after conference and we made fruit pizza. looks pretty good don't you think. i did all the hard parts and banner did all the fun parts.

these little socks i knitted for essie. i started them for lily, but i soon saw they would be too big for a newborn so essie got them. they are made of a yarn called 'baby cashmerino'...very soft.

these socks i crocheted using actual crochet cotton instead of yarn. i sent them to whitney (well sara sent them) and i hope because they are made of cotton they will be cool enough for honduras.

this pair i knitted and wear myself. they are very sloppy and soft, but comfortable for keeping my feet warm.

this sock i unraveled after i got it part way done. it seemed too heavy and stiff. i will reknit them on larger needles and they won't be so heavy. i have other socks, but i haven't taken pictures of them.

this is a collection of stuff on my kitchen shelf.

this seems kind of random doesn't it, but that's how my life is.

i was browsing spring flower images and came across some interesting ones.

this is saffron sativus which is a very cool flower. i think it's not a spring flower at all, but blooms in the fall, but it is a crocus and we get saffron from it. see those red things...people literally pick those little things and dry them and they are the saffron threads we pay so much money for. i love the flavor of saffron and appreciate it all the more to think how it is obtained.

the picture below is a cute striped spring crocus, not the saffron kind.

i found this picture of women in iran harvesting saffron. very labor intensive, but worth it...much like knitting socks.

i work with some people that are ben's age and i can't believe it, but they are planning their ten year high school reunion. brody leroy, who was a friend of ben's since kindergarten, told me they want some pictures of ben for a little display. they especially want ones of him in high school or perhaps junior high, and of course, they already have high school yearbook pictures. i thought if any of you have any pictures of him as a teen or later you could put them on your blogs and then i could copy them and put them on my blog for brody to copy. i will look through my physical photos and find some also, but i'm not good at scanning and i think it would be easiest to copy them from the computer. so if any of you have pictures of ben, would you please put them on your posts. i would appreciate it.

other than that, there is not much going on that's new in my life. i work, i knit, i read, i sleep, i go to choir...not very exciting. i should get ambitious and put some pictures of my knitted socks on my post, but i'd rather knit than take pictures. i have learned to knit continental which is very cool and fast. but, i can't purl continental yet which is much harder. i learned by going online and looking at youtube videos of people knitting that way. i feel very accomplished.

i'm looking forward to the washington dc trip in may and need to get busy on shower and wedding gifts, which i will enjoy making. can't think of anything else to say, so i guess i'll end.

i thought about ben all day today. when this day and a few others are coming up every year it's like i almost hold my breath for a few weeks beforehand. i can't explain it, and i'm not sure why i do it. maybe because i don't want to make it any worse than it already is by dwelling on it consciously. but, of course, i do dwell on it consciously and unconsciously, which, i tell myself, is perfectly natural. the problem is, i still don't know what to think or feel about being without him. i'm a naturally an optimistic person, but this is the hugest test of optimism for me.

every year's a little different. this year he would be twenty-eight. he might be married and have children. i might have visited him or phoned him or sent him a gift on his birthday. if i were with him i would have kissed him and smelled his hair. i would have watched him smile or laugh his self-deprecating laugh. i would have made him know how much i love him...how he delighted me.

i didn't go to the cemetery today. i never get the urge to go there and only do so if it's someone else's idea. on one level i feel guilty about this and wonder if there is something wrong with me. i don't know why, but it doesn't comfort me much to go up there. i see three graves, but the people they represent are not there for me. i believe and hope they are together with each other in an even closer way than those graves are. and i'm sorry to have to admit this because it may cause people who love me to feel pain, but i see the empty place beside ben and it looks inviting to me...so i don't go to the cemetery.

but, on the other hand, life is full of invitations too. dennis and i were reflecting about our lives and how five years ago we didn't see how we could get through the next five days let alone the next five years, and yet, here we are and our lives are good and blessed and we are happy, even if we've had to learn to be happy in a new way. the love of our family, especially our leslie, makes our lives worthwhile, believe me. i apologize for perhaps sounding a little self-pitying. i don't really pity myself at all. ben was a blessing who's passing just made me appreciate all the more the time we had with him. happy birthday ben, dear. i love you so much. mom